An American 4th, an English 5th … it's down-home BBQ and elegant Henley in the same weekend

The Henley Regatta is always right around the 4th of July, giving someone who celebrates both events a vivid opportunity to compare wildly different styles of national summer entertainment.

This year I did one of my occasional July 4th parties, in which I strive to bring the down-home experience of a Midwestern Independence Day to my English friends and family.  All of whom, of course, consider it an exotic theme party.  There's country music, American food, flag decorations, icy Budweiser or Sam Adams and fireworks.  The centrepiece of this party was actually quite a gourmet meal, even if it was eaten with disposable cutlery off flag-patterned paper places.

We started with a variety of typical BBQ nibbles.  The classic crab ball (crab meat, cream cheese and a bit of soured cream) on a bed of cocktail sauce, plus Ranch dip and queso dip.  This is the part of the meal where replicating America is the most complicated.  In America, these are all assembled quickly with readily available convenience foods.  We don't have cocktail sauce in England, so you have to make it by grinding fresh horseradish root into catsup, adding sour cream and lemon juice to taste.  No Triscuits to serve with it; I opted for Ryevita as the closest choice.  No Ranch dressing mix; I bring it from America and still had some in stock.  The queso dip is the biggest issue.  No Velveeta here, no Ro-tel.  So we had to start with a classic roux, soften with beer and add cheddar and red leicester cheeses.  The guests loved it, I thought it was a disappointing runner-up to the Velveeta/Ro-tel dip that takes 1/5 of the time to make.

Moving on to the main course, things should get a little easier.  Prepping and slow-smoking a pork

Putting the nephew to work

shoulder in your Weber is not much different on either side of the pond.  Except if you get too precise about trying to dictate the cut.  Because "Boston Butt", preferred for pulled pork, doesn't exist here either.  Our butcher at Newlyns tried his best to follow the instructions I brought him.  I came home with a quarter pig.  Which led to an amusing FaceTime call between kitchens in St. Louis and London, as my brother-in-law directed camera angles and coached us on how to butcher down and tie the piece we needed.

Any decent BBQ sauce is stupidly expensive and comes in relatively small bottles here, so it's best to make that, too.  (I use former First Lady Barbara Bush's recipe, obtained from a Texas cookbook when I lived there.)  Baked beans?  The Brits think they come out of a tin.  So have to do those properly, stewed down for a day with maple syrup and studded with bacon.  Bob Gibson's Alabama cole slaw better than any available here, so make that too.  And those bread and butter pickles that form the finishing touch to a great pulled pork sandwich?  Despite a huge section of "pickle" at the grocers, we don't have those here either, so add another thing to the home made list.

Finally, the big cake decorated with white icing, blueberries and strawberries to form the American flag.  You can't stroll into a bakery and pick one of those up.  Start baking.

So, all in all, it takes as much effort to do the traditional July 4th bbq as it does to do a formal dinner party.  Which is why I don't do this every year.

The next day was a totally different, and far more relaxing, experience at the Henley Regatta.  We exchanged shorts, tee shirts and baseball caps for dressy summer wear and proper hats.  Beer for champagne and pulled pork for poached salmon.

The rowing event has been taking place on a long, straight stretch of the Thames above the picturesque market town of Henley since 1839.  It's become a solid part of the London social season and tends to draw a more exclusive crowd than other events.  Anyone who gardens enjoys the Chelsea Flower Show.   Builders and waitresses are as likely to enjoy a horse race and do a day out at Ascot as the toffs.  But rowing tends to be a sport confined to expensive private schools, and the places to watch the race at Henley are almost all corporate hospitality or private clubs.  Egalitarian, this is not.  But, good lord, it's fabulous people watching.

Start with the usual summer semi-formal wear.  Women in elegant summer frocks and hats, men in light coloured trousers, blue blazers, straw boaters or panama hats.  Then there are the famous "Henley Blazers".  Every school or rowing club has its colours, and these are traditionally used to create striped blazers, often worn with a straw boater with a matching hat band.  The more obnoxious, the better.  Thus my husband, who shudders with revulsion at Brooks Brothers madras plaid bermudas, would have no problem being seen in public in the outfit to the left.  All part of the enduring mystery of the Englishman.

Our membership at the Lansdowne Club gives us reciprocal rights at the Phyllis Court.  The Regency-style manor house with sprawling grounds along the Thames really comes into its own in Regatta week, since it's placed fortuitously at the finish line.  Members (permanent and reciprocal) can choose from a variety of packages, from the simple parking and picnic pass that allows you to do your own thing on the lawns, to entry to the clubhouse with a buffet, to access to the Isis Lounge … a modern, glass-fronted pavilion right on the banks of the river … with a sit-down lunch in the ballroom.

We did the last, figuring we'd never done Henley before and might as well do it properly.  And this option offered the best views combined with the best rain protection.  A good choice, since it was one of those days that danced between sunshine and showers.

Of the racing, admittedly, we didn't watch much.  Everyone tends to look up as the skulls hove into view, watch the last minute, cheer the teams as they go over the line, then return to drinking.  The most exciting bit, naturally, was Piers' school, St. Edwards Oxford, winning its race to make it into the finals of the Princess Elizabeth Cup the next day.  (Sadly, they went on to lose to those pesky lads from Eton.)  Otherwise, like so many events of "The Season", it's really just an opportunity to dress up, swan about in lovely surroundings, eat, drink, and check out the fashion.

I'm not sure we'll do the Regatta every year, but we'll certainly be back to the Phyllis Court for a summer lunch or dinner on their riverside patios.  Rowers or not, it's a delightful view.