Midwesterner gives New York grudging respect and tips a few fine places

An English friend is visiting New York later this year and, not unreasonably given my accent, has asked me for tips on what she should see. The reality is that most middle-class Londoners have probably spent far more time in the Big Apple, and appreciate it far more, than me.

As regular readers of this blog will know, I carry a classic Midwestern chip on my shoulder when it comes to the American coasts, and especially to New York City. Why must an entire country be lumped in with one big city, which neither reflects nor understands much of the world beyond its borders? And, as the famous New Yorker magazine cover suggests, doesn't really care?

The truth is, I don't much like New York. Nor, with the exception of a small handful with whom I share DNA or significant life experiences, do I like New Yorkers. I resent its dominance, find its people rude and avaricious and its canyons of high rises soulless. The magic simply passes me by.

Admittedly, ignorance plays a role here. I had only made one brief, childhood visit to NYC before my first business trip there in the late '90s. I have since returned three times, almost always on business. So my total time as a tourist in this magnet for Europeans is probably less than five days.

With all the vitriol out of the way, I'll admit that over the years I've gained a grudging respect for the city. While it will never be a favourite, I have found elements of the town that I like a great deal. I appreciate the polyglot mix of people, cuisines and traditions. I acknowledge that it is a worthy repository of high culture, and it's filled with good architecture.

So, for what it's worth, and in order to fulfill my friend's request, here are a slightly resentful and uninformed Missourian's picks for visiting New York:

The New York Public Library headquarters building is my single favourite sight in the city. On Fifth Avenue between 40th and 42nd street, it is an architectural beauty, a cultural landmark and a quiet place to take a pause from sightseeing or shopping. It was designed as a Renaissance palazzo; but larger and grander than anything Lorenzo di Medici would recognise. I love the fact that early 20th century New Yorkers chose a palace as the architectural idiom in which they stored their books. I have spent hours happily rambling around this remarkable building, checking out special exhibitions and marvelling at the procession of grand rooms. And you can also check your email here, if you're in need of a connection with the modern world.

New York is one of the finest places in the world to see a lot of art deco in one place. I like to just walk around midtown with my eyes open and raised high to take in the variety and detail. The Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building are deservedly famous from this era, but I like to point people to the Fred French Building, at Fifth and 45th. Art deco had a wonderful way of mixing old styles with modernism, and here you see the style drawing from the highly unusual source of ancient Persia. The building, both outside and in its lobby, is a colourful riot of Babylonian winged bulls, Persian warriors and decorative elements from palaces we're unlikely to see in person unless we do a stint in the army. Not only do I love the uniqueness, but these days I find it particularly heart warming to remind people that great cultures came out of the land around the Tigris and Euphrates long before modern political strife.

Continuing up Fifth Avenue you reach the point which, for me, serves as the emotional heart of the City: Rockefeller Center and Saks Fifth Avenue. The former is another art deco masterpiece, well worth a lengthy wander even without the famous skating rink and the upscale shops. But it's Saks across the street that's my NYC Mecca. Thanks to the grandmother after whom I'm named, I grew up associating Saks with classic, sophisticated elegance. (Which was everything a lady should be. My family didn't do trendy.) The mother store sets the tone for the whole empire; you half expect to bump into Audrey Hepburn shopping for a new little black dress. I simply love wandering and drinking in the atmosphere. Note, I haven't mentioned the word "shopping" yet. While I'll invest in special items at Saks, I'm more likely to do my major spending at Macy's flagship store. Though increasingly tattered and a far cry from elegance, the selections are broader and the sales usually excellent.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art is without question one of the finest museums in the world, and nobody should escape a first visit to New York without a pilgrimage here. There's a very showy Egyptian section, complete with a reconstructed temple in its own glass-roofed wing with Nile-evoking water feature. But my favourite bit is the traditional European art, and what it says about 19th and early 20th century New Yorkers. The Met is a spiritual sister to the British Museum: both are treasure troves of Empire, collections of goodies from around the world assembled thanks to the huge wealth of the imperial power and the relative hard times of those selling off their patrimony. At the British Museum, you see the treasures of Greece, Egypt, the Near East and Asia carted home by the rulers of the 18th century world. A century or so later, European empires were waning and American commercial power was buying art, sculpture and whole rooms from castles (whatever you do, don't miss Federigo da Montefeltro's study) and country houses to ship to the new world. It makes you wonder if, in another few centuries, there will be a fantastic museum in China exhibiting the best of America and other Western powers.

Despite the Met's wonders, my favourite museum is the much smaller Frick Collection, at Fifth and East 70th. A delightful collection of European decorative and visual arts, displayed within the grand townhouse of the wealthy industrialist who gathered and then donated this treasure trove. If you want to get a taste of the gilded age, this is it.

Moving beyond shopping and culture, I've never had a bad meal in New York. Nor have I been there enough to make firm recommendations. I will, however, point out a few culinary experiences any visitor should seek out. Ask the locals to recommend a good Jewish deli and indulge in a hot pastrami on rye, slathered with mustard and accompanied by the requisite dill pickle and slaw. New York pizza is justly famous and widely available, though you should look for places that have been around for a while and still have Italians in the kitchen. Staying with the Italian influence, no visit is complete for me without indulging in cannoli, a southern Italian dessert almost unknown in Europe north of Naples. (Though I've finally started seeing them on some trendy Italian menus in London.) The best outside of Italy are to be found here. Unique to New York, I believe, is the black and white cookie; actually a round disk of cake half iced with vanilla, and half with chocolate. And of course, the ultimate New York dessert is cheesecake. I've never had any in Europe that holds a candle to the real thing here.

I'll make an exception and mention one specific restaurant, as much for the experience as for the food. Carmine's unique angle is family style southern Italian. Everything comes out in giant platters to share. It is pointless to go here without at least four people, and things really get going with eight. This is as close as I've ever come in public to re-creating the feeling of an Italian family kitchen, the table groaning beneath abundance, jugs of wine emptying briskly, and the whole act of sharing food evoking love, fellowship and contentment. Eating is about so much more than sustenance. An awareness, of course, that every Italian-American family breeds into its children from their first strand of spaghetti. Carmine's does a great job of bringing this to the general public. There are two branches, one in the theater district and one on the Upper West Side. See www.carminesnyc.com for details.

If I had one day to myself in New York, these are the places you'd be most likely to find me. If I had two days, I might even wander more than a few blocks off Fifth Avenue. But that story is still to be written...

(For more on New York, check out the blog entry from my last visit in November '07)