Glorious palaces, lavish cathedrals ... but 10 minutes in an old boat top the weekend

Even if it IS one of the smallest countries in the world, two days isn't enough to do Malta justice.  In hindsight, the best sightseeing strategy would have been to stay near the origin point of the hop-on-hop-off bus tour and make the most of the ticket.  It's a great deal; with £20 per person getting us two days of bus privileges plus a harbour tour.


Three complications.  There are three different bus routes around the island, each one way, each converging at Sliema.  The buses are slow, and they end early.  By the time we finally stopped for a late lunch in Mdina at 3:15, we realised we were going to miss the 3:40 last bus and had to catch a taxi home.  Good value only on their timetable.  Second, City Sightseeing has industrialised their approach a lot since the last time I rode with them (in Edinburgh).  Pre-recorded info, rather than the live guides they once had, is interspersed with quite a lot of paid advertising.  Enough to make me pass on tours anywhere you can do yourself on foot.  Third, we wanted to make it to a special event at 11 on Sunday that blew our chances of using the bus again.  Still cheaper than taking taxis to everything we saw on Saturday ... but only just.

If you saw nothing at all, but merely walked around Valetta, you'd still be impressed.  The architecture of the palaces and churches, surrounded by the golden fortifications plunging into the sea, with more walls and towers framing the water across harbours on two sides, offers enough visual stimulation to keep you going.  But if you want to dip into more culture, here's our pick for the top things to pack into two days, listed in order of my appreciation.

1.  A journey across the harbour in a traditional luzzu.  We spoke to an old fisherman lamenting the decline of these traditional wooden boats.  A real shame, because they're just as charming as a Venetian gondola at a fraction of the price.  Eight euro ferried the two of us across the harbour.  Gentle putt-putt of the motor, sun on the water, golden walls towering up over our little boat ... absolutely magical.  And by far the quickest way to get from Birgu to the Valetta waterfront.  (And from there, courtesy a 1-euro-a-ride lift, up into the main town.)

2.  "In Guardia" at St. John's Cavalier (fort) in Birgu.  Malta tourism lays this historic spectacular on a few times a year.  Costumed reenactors present the inspection of the garrison by the Grand Bailiff of the Knights of Malta.  Our show featured musketeers, halberd-bearers, pikemen, flag bearers and a band, all doing their 17th century stuff in front of the fort commander and the senior knights.  Not to be missed if the show is on.

3.  St. John's Co-Cathedral in Valetta.  One of the few details I knew about Malta before this trip was that the Cathedral held a couple of famous Caravaggios.  They were as stunning as expected, especially as they've just been restored.  Even without them, the cathedral would be a blockbuster.  A poster child of Baroque excess, it features ornately carved, painted and gilded walls, frescoed ceilings and a floor made up of magnificent pietra dura tombstones the like of which I've only ever seen in the Franciscan mother church in Rome.

4.  Mdina.  The original capital city of the island, topping a hill at its centre.  It's a cross between an Italian walled borgo and a North African town, reflecting the mix of cultures on the island.  A warren of narrow streets twisting and turning to aid Medieval defence, given charm by countless architectural touches like ornate balconies, interesting towers and wrought iron gates offering views into sub-tropical gardens.

5.  The Grandmaster's Palace and Armoury.  Starting as the residence of the chief knight, this became the British governor's palace and is now the president's palace, used for state occasions.  There's a range of ornate state rooms fairly typical of any grand European house; the star sight is the fresco series on the ceilings of the main hallways.  The adjoining armoury does not live up to its "one of the best in the world" advertising ... it's a pale shadow of the museum in Vienna ... but it's worth a wander if you're interested in the topic, and has a clear and simple audio tour.

6.  The Experiences.  The Maltese tourism industry is big into "experiences" ... which is basically a grand description for a video about some aspect of the island, shown in a theatre inside a historic building.  We did three.  "The Malta Experience" in Valetta is an excellent 45-minute introduction to the island, its history and culture.  But it's essentially a well-cut montage of still photography with a good script over the top.  20 euro per person was an incredible rip-off, even if we'd had the time to take a look at the hospital that was included with the ticket.  We found better value in Mdina when 12 euro per person got us into both "the Mdina Experience" and "the Knights of Malta Experience."  The last was actually my favourite, as it followed the video with a walk through a series of life-sized dioramas of historic scenes ... sort of a basic, do-it-yourself Disney ride.  Because we hadn't done much reading before the trip, these were worthwhile.  In hindsight, however, I'd have read up more, skipped these and saved the time and money.

I've excluded dining from this experience list, because it would make my prioritisation list far too difficult.  Eating was certainly just as good as sightseeing.  No surprise for an island that sits at the crossroads of so many stunning cuisines.  Next entry, it's on to food and wine.