Americans are everyone’s favourite scapegoat. Lay blanket blame any other group for pretty much anything and you’re likely to get hauled up on charges of racism, sexism or snobbery. Americans, however, are fair game. From the toxicity of the current political environment to the rise of obesity to the dumbing down of popular culture, it is ALL the fault of the USA. I am yet to witness an American physically forcing a European to use Facebook, eat at McDonalds or watch Big Brother (which was invented by the Dutch, btw), but we will be blamed.
Long term expats living in England get used to this, generally allowing the stars-and-stripes bashing to roll away like rain off the back of the Queen’s swans, but there are times we get pushed to the limit. Halloween is one of them.
Let’s get this clear, Brits. We did NOT force you to embrace Halloween. You did it all by yourself. Nor did we invent it. I understand your disgruntlement, but do not shift the blame. Accept responsibility for the choices you have made and, perhaps, work to improve things.
Let’s look at the arguments against you.
WHERE’S THE GUY?
Bonfire Night was a glorious, and uniquely British, festival. I remember going to a magnificent party in the village of Hartley Witney my first year working here (1994). Locals had been stacking wood on the village green for a month; the pile was bigger than a 4-bedroom detached home. It was studded with “Guys” ... no longer representations of Guy Fawkes himself, but witty takes on authority figures who needed to be knocked down a peg or two, from an irritating French trade minister with beret and garlic strand to an insufferably smug pop star. As night fell, villagers slowly emerged from the adjoining woodland, swinging balls of fire on chains. When they reached the pyre they processed around it slowly , whirling the fireballs above their heads before launching them onto the waiting pile with its crowd of effigies. It felt deliciously ancient and pagan, despite the ceremony’s roots in hard-line Protestantism.
The ensuing inferno was the biggest I’d ever been near, raising the temperature across the whole green. We ate baked potatoes and drank numerous pints from the two local pubs, who had extended operations to the fireside.
Even more, I blame government. Between European air quality regulations and local government health and safety, it became almost impossible for local parishes to host their own celebrations. And in an era of hyper-sensitivity, the idea of burning anyone in effigy ... even with humorous intent ... has become a no-go area.
A few particularly famous local festivals remain, notably in Lewes and Ottery-St-Mary, but in many places events have become large, almost-industrial fireworks displays without any historic tradition or local flare. Parents and children are simply often finding local trick or treating to be more fun than the soulless municipal Bonfire Nights that are left in most of the country.
NOT A “HALLMARK HOLIDAY"
American capitalists did not invent Halloween to “force” you to buy greeting cards, home decorations and candy. It was your festival a millennium before the USA even existed. Look up Samhain. The Christians appropriated festivities with the double feast of All Souls on the 31st and All Saints on 1 November, beloved celebrations marked throughout Britain for centuries before the Puritans went into abolition overdrive.
Guy Fawkes celebrations, in fact, were promoted by Cromwell’s administration as a way to replace Halloween in the people’s affections. So, rather than adopting something new from America, today's Brits who celebrate Halloween are returning to their original tradition. Got it?
YOU’RE MISSING SOME KEY POINTS
Sure, there’s an unhealthy element of gluttony to Halloween. In my experience, English kids have quickly embraced the get-as-much-candy-as-possible part of the event while missing all the nuance.
First. It’s Trick or Treat. Where’s your trick? American kids know they need to earn their goodies, from telling simple jokes to putting on mini-plays on the doorstep. Many homeowners buy a range of sweets, holding back “the good stuff” for kids with the best trick or the cleverest costume. English kids don’t get this at all.
There’s no sense of working for their treat: they just want candy. They’re totally missing Halloween’s most valuable life lesson.
The trick element also builds confidence. Most Brits will grudgingly acknowledge that Americans are naturally better and more confident presenters than they are. Look to early doorstep candy canvassing for one of the reasons.
The English kids at my door also show shockingly little attention to costume. It’s inevitably a procession of the same mass-produced tat grabbed at the local supermarkets. Meanwhile, American kids may spend weeks planning; often in a great bonding exercise with their parents and exploring their creativity. Costumes are often home made; having the same outfit as someone else is abhorrent. Last year, I think my godson had the only hand-crafted costume amongst the hundreds of kids haunting our housing estate. Which is a nice cue to run that adorable photo again...
Costumes span all of imagination and are often quite clever. Halloween is where many American kids are introduced to current events and political satire. A fair number of Supreme Court justices showed up on friends’ Facebook feeds last year. Groups will organise team costumes. In Texas I remember a bunch of kids dressed as different fish, with their parents holding the frame of the aquarium. In Chicago, a set of cardboard boxes painted as buildings that turned into the city skyline when the kids stood in the right order. It’s also a great way to learn history. Since Hamilton, American doorsteps have seen a surge in founding fathers, many of whom will rap for you.
Oh, what I would give this year to see a WW1 soldier, a suffragette, a Russian with a Salisbury guidebook or a May-Corbyn Punch-n-Judy Show. Sadly, we can confidently expect the same repetitive stream of Sainsbury's vampire & witch costumes.
AND YOU’RE IGNORING SOME BENEFITS
When you get past the candy, you’ll see that there are some fabulous benefits to Halloween. If done properly, as described above, the annual outing builds creativity and self confidence. Costumed roll play fosters imagination. Parents and children work together on a shared project.
Even if you miss all of this, there’s still an element of communal fun that’s rare in modern life. In my Hampshire neighbourhood (see below), groups of parents go out with the kids, talking to each other and making community connections often missing in an English housing estate. People share photos of best decorated houses and cute kids on the local Facebook page. It’s one of the few things that’s managed to give our neighbourhood, full of commuters who spend most of their waking hours elsewhere, a community spirit more like an old, established village.
Even sugar-fuelled greed has its upside. The desire to milk my childhood subdivision for all the candy possible taught me early lessons in project planning , team management and map reading.
AMERICANS DIDN’T COME TO EUROPE FOR AMERICANA
Yes, I’m excited that the MLB is bringing a few baseball games to London next year. Sometimes I feel the need to drop in to the Fat Bear for some home style cooking. Amazon delivery is a life-saver.
But on the whole, Americans in Europe want ... Europe. In France, we want to sit under the lime trees drinking Pastis and watching the locals play Pétanque. In Spain we want to see villagers parading flower-draped statues of saints. We thirst for locally-brewed beer in Munich gardens and shop for exquisite handicrafts in tiny Italian shops. If I wanted to drink Bud and shop at Wal-Mart, I could have stayed home. Offer most Americans in Britain the choice between that magical Hartley Whitney bonfire night and Halloween, and they’d take the former. It’s not our fault that the choice doesn’t exist any more.
Have I made my point? Good. If you’re still wound up about the incursion of this rubbish American event into your national traditions, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Go to your local council and volunteer to organise your Guy Fawkes celebrations.
I, meanwhile, will be polishing my arguments for why Black Friday is not our fault, either.
Let’s get this clear, Brits. We did NOT force you to embrace Halloween. You did it all by yourself. Nor did we invent it. I understand your disgruntlement, but do not shift the blame. Accept responsibility for the choices you have made and, perhaps, work to improve things.
Let’s look at the arguments against you.
WHERE’S THE GUY?
Bonfire Night was a glorious, and uniquely British, festival. I remember going to a magnificent party in the village of Hartley Witney my first year working here (1994). Locals had been stacking wood on the village green for a month; the pile was bigger than a 4-bedroom detached home. It was studded with “Guys” ... no longer representations of Guy Fawkes himself, but witty takes on authority figures who needed to be knocked down a peg or two, from an irritating French trade minister with beret and garlic strand to an insufferably smug pop star. As night fell, villagers slowly emerged from the adjoining woodland, swinging balls of fire on chains. When they reached the pyre they processed around it slowly , whirling the fireballs above their heads before launching them onto the waiting pile with its crowd of effigies. It felt deliciously ancient and pagan, despite the ceremony’s roots in hard-line Protestantism.
The ensuing inferno was the biggest I’d ever been near, raising the temperature across the whole green. We ate baked potatoes and drank numerous pints from the two local pubs, who had extended operations to the fireside.
There were no trick-or-treaters that year, nor for the rest of the ‘90s. But even then, I could feel Guy Fawkes Night fading. The English are often shockingly ignorant of their history: people in our office pointed “foreigners” at me to explain the significance of the celebration because they weren’t quite sure. (On 5 November 1605, a plot by Roman Catholic extremists to blow up parliament was narrowly foiled; they were executed and thereafter burned in effigy on the anniversary, along with other symbols of Popery, to celebrate the triumph of local authority over foreign influence. There were more significant plotters, but Fawkes was the one found with the gunpowder so became the poster child for the event.) For many, by the mid-1990s the stories and relevance had faded away until it was just a bonfire and some fireworks.
Even more, I blame government. Between European air quality regulations and local government health and safety, it became almost impossible for local parishes to host their own celebrations. And in an era of hyper-sensitivity, the idea of burning anyone in effigy ... even with humorous intent ... has become a no-go area.
A few particularly famous local festivals remain, notably in Lewes and Ottery-St-Mary, but in many places events have become large, almost-industrial fireworks displays without any historic tradition or local flare. Parents and children are simply often finding local trick or treating to be more fun than the soulless municipal Bonfire Nights that are left in most of the country.
NOT A “HALLMARK HOLIDAY"
American capitalists did not invent Halloween to “force” you to buy greeting cards, home decorations and candy. It was your festival a millennium before the USA even existed. Look up Samhain. The Christians appropriated festivities with the double feast of All Souls on the 31st and All Saints on 1 November, beloved celebrations marked throughout Britain for centuries before the Puritans went into abolition overdrive.
Guy Fawkes celebrations, in fact, were promoted by Cromwell’s administration as a way to replace Halloween in the people’s affections. So, rather than adopting something new from America, today's Brits who celebrate Halloween are returning to their original tradition. Got it?
YOU’RE MISSING SOME KEY POINTS
First. It’s Trick or Treat. Where’s your trick? American kids know they need to earn their goodies, from telling simple jokes to putting on mini-plays on the doorstep. Many homeowners buy a range of sweets, holding back “the good stuff” for kids with the best trick or the cleverest costume. English kids don’t get this at all.
There’s no sense of working for their treat: they just want candy. They’re totally missing Halloween’s most valuable life lesson.
The trick element also builds confidence. Most Brits will grudgingly acknowledge that Americans are naturally better and more confident presenters than they are. Look to early doorstep candy canvassing for one of the reasons.
The English kids at my door also show shockingly little attention to costume. It’s inevitably a procession of the same mass-produced tat grabbed at the local supermarkets. Meanwhile, American kids may spend weeks planning; often in a great bonding exercise with their parents and exploring their creativity. Costumes are often home made; having the same outfit as someone else is abhorrent. Last year, I think my godson had the only hand-crafted costume amongst the hundreds of kids haunting our housing estate. Which is a nice cue to run that adorable photo again...
Costumes span all of imagination and are often quite clever. Halloween is where many American kids are introduced to current events and political satire. A fair number of Supreme Court justices showed up on friends’ Facebook feeds last year. Groups will organise team costumes. In Texas I remember a bunch of kids dressed as different fish, with their parents holding the frame of the aquarium. In Chicago, a set of cardboard boxes painted as buildings that turned into the city skyline when the kids stood in the right order. It’s also a great way to learn history. Since Hamilton, American doorsteps have seen a surge in founding fathers, many of whom will rap for you.
Oh, what I would give this year to see a WW1 soldier, a suffragette, a Russian with a Salisbury guidebook or a May-Corbyn Punch-n-Judy Show. Sadly, we can confidently expect the same repetitive stream of Sainsbury's vampire & witch costumes.
AND YOU’RE IGNORING SOME BENEFITS
When you get past the candy, you’ll see that there are some fabulous benefits to Halloween. If done properly, as described above, the annual outing builds creativity and self confidence. Costumed roll play fosters imagination. Parents and children work together on a shared project.
Even if you miss all of this, there’s still an element of communal fun that’s rare in modern life. In my Hampshire neighbourhood (see below), groups of parents go out with the kids, talking to each other and making community connections often missing in an English housing estate. People share photos of best decorated houses and cute kids on the local Facebook page. It’s one of the few things that’s managed to give our neighbourhood, full of commuters who spend most of their waking hours elsewhere, a community spirit more like an old, established village.
Even sugar-fuelled greed has its upside. The desire to milk my childhood subdivision for all the candy possible taught me early lessons in project planning , team management and map reading.
AMERICANS DIDN’T COME TO EUROPE FOR AMERICANA
Yes, I’m excited that the MLB is bringing a few baseball games to London next year. Sometimes I feel the need to drop in to the Fat Bear for some home style cooking. Amazon delivery is a life-saver.
But on the whole, Americans in Europe want ... Europe. In France, we want to sit under the lime trees drinking Pastis and watching the locals play Pétanque. In Spain we want to see villagers parading flower-draped statues of saints. We thirst for locally-brewed beer in Munich gardens and shop for exquisite handicrafts in tiny Italian shops. If I wanted to drink Bud and shop at Wal-Mart, I could have stayed home. Offer most Americans in Britain the choice between that magical Hartley Whitney bonfire night and Halloween, and they’d take the former. It’s not our fault that the choice doesn’t exist any more.
Have I made my point? Good. If you’re still wound up about the incursion of this rubbish American event into your national traditions, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Go to your local council and volunteer to organise your Guy Fawkes celebrations.
I, meanwhile, will be polishing my arguments for why Black Friday is not our fault, either.
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