San Fran has much to be Proud of, but avoid the bad bus tour

San Francisco is a sprawling place. Now more accustomed to walkable European centres, I often forget just how vast American cities can be. Even San Francisco's parks are built on a scale to challenge the pedestrian. We thought about hopping off the bus to hit a few of the highlights in Golden Gate Park, until we realised the park stretched over three miles and any proper exploration would take far more time than we had.

Thus, despite the fact we spent two weekends there, our time in San Francisco was more about taking in grand views and neighbourhood vibes than diving into specific cultural highlights.

We normally opt for a hop-on-hop-off bus tour of new places in order to get our bearings and, in places this big, to have an easy mode of transport. While the concept applied here, and a two-day pass helpfully allowed us to spread our exploration over a weekend, our choice of "San Francisco Deluxe" tours was a poor one. The information delivered by the combined driver/guides was sketchy and frustrating, with little about history, architecture or culture and a bewildering emphasis on tipping restaurants and shops. I have to assume those were paid promotions. We learned little we didn't already know from a basic perusal of the guidebook. Worse, the frequency of the buses was far less than promised. We hopped off at one point and ended up waiting more than 45 minutes for the next bus, while at two other stops we lingered for more than 20 minutes each while the bus waited for passengers. We watched the Grey Line buses go by with far more frequency and envied their informative guides sitting on the top deck with the tourists. The experience is a good reminder that with multiple options in all major locations these days, it's worth some advanced research to pick the right one.

Here are our sightseeing high ... and low ... lights.

Mission Delores - The seed from which the Mission District grew, the original church is the oldest surviving building in San Francisco and one of the chain of missions built by the Spanish to bring religion and structure to colonial life. It's a beautiful example of mission style and, with the garden and graveyard behind, a spot for quiet contemplation in a bustling city. The basilica next door now hosts most services for the still-active and ethically diverse community; we went to a lovely service with an inspiring sermon on our first Sunday here. The nearby park of the same name has stunning views of the city and the bay; it's an ideal picnic spot on a nice day.

Fisherman's Wharf - Too famous to ignore, too crowded to enjoy. The action sprawls about a mile down the waterfront, with the highest traffic on Pier 39. The view from the pier's end is fantastic, but the long procession of chain restaurants and shops full of tourist tat has little charm. Fight your way through more crowds, past more chain restaurants, hawkers and bad street entertainers to end up at Ghirardelli Square. The shops are more tasteful here, and you can get free samples in the chocolate shop, but it's still all frustratingly packed. Tick this sightseeing box, but there's no reason to linger.

The Painted Ladies - Architecture fans will enjoy a wander around Alamo Square and the nearby neighbourhood. The late-Victorian style houses here feature gables, towers, odd angles and interesting windows, most decorated with Italianate details. Since the mid-60s, owners have been painting the houses and picking out details in bright colours, to beautiful effect.

Chinatown - As mentioned in the last entry, it's a must-see for any visitor. Don't miss Portsmouth Square Park, used as an outdoor living room by a Chinese community often crammed into tiny flats. The shops are great fun, from stereotypical Chinese imports to ethnic groceries to home decor showrooms filled with ridiculously lavish furniture, sculpture and light fixtures. Take a guided tour to get the most out of the area.

Union Square - This square offers greenery, cafes and artists' stands in the centre of the high-end shopping district. It's a good place to pick up a bus tour. The Macy's here is the 2nd-largest in the country after New York, and the Apple store with its two-story glass walls that slide open to create an al-fresco retail space is an impressive sight.

The Golden Gate Bridge - It lives up to its reputation, both as a distant icon as you look out at the bay, or while driving over it. Try to do the latter, where you'll get the best appreciation of the majesty of the engineering and take in extraordinary views.

Pride - It was a complete accident that we ended up in town for one of San Francisco's biggest weekends. Famous as a liberal, accepting city and with a rich history of alternative communities, it's no surprise that the city's Pride event is the biggest in the world. The parade down Market Street started at 10:30 and wrapped around 4pm, with thousands walking while crowds dipped in and out of viewing the spectacle. The all-day party featured the expected club dance mixes, seas of rainbow flags, crazy costumes and outrageous female impersonators. I didn't expect the enormous levels of corporate sponsorship, with hundreds of employees having a festive day out behind their corporate banners, or all the city officials waving from their convertibles. Proof that "Pride" in this city is less about minorities differentiated by sexuality and more about celebrating a community where everyone is treated equally.

Exquisite views, Chinatown food tour start American holiday off right

Looking in from the outside, the land of my birth doesn't seem the most attractive place these days. Mass shootings, rising strains of racism and isolationism, fear and anger dominating public conversations. As our flight crossed into American airspace, I wondered: was this really a good idea?

San Francisco on a sunny weekend is, fortunately, a life-affirming antidote to all that negativity. A diverse, optimistic, energetic city of the world, blessed with clement weather and great landscapes; I can see why everyone loves it.

Initial impressions:

• It's a far bigger, more sprawling place than I'd imagined. We get used to the walkability of European city centres; this is a different beast.
• The bay is almost impossibly beautiful. Framed by golden hills, bookended by gracious suspension bridges, dotted by sailboats. It's hard to pull your eyes away.
• Let the unfit beware; it's ridiculously steep. Getting anywhere seems to involve clambering up and down streets that would test any driver's nerves and brakes. San Franciscans must laugh heartily when they arrive in Rome and look for seven hills. The Italian capital is as flat as a pancake in comparison.
• On the down side, there are a lot of homeless people. Many clearly afflicted by mental problems, raging away to themselves and at passers by. While perfectly comfortable walking around in a group of four, if I were here on my own I'd be more wary.
• This is a town that takes food very seriously.

We were already aware of the last point, which is one of the reasons our first act as tourists was a foodie-focused walking tour of Chinatown. The oldest Chinese community in the USA and the largest outside of Asia, this is a must-see destination for any visitor. Adding food, plus a local guide, makes it even better. And given the bewildering number of establishments in this sprawling, 24-square-block area, it's perhaps the only way you're guaranteed to find the quality amongst the tourist traps.

Our tour leader Lois was a local whose father had been a baker at one of Chinatown's most respected bakeries. We spent about three hours wandering the heart of the district, interspersing eating and drinking with learning about the history and development of the area. While San Francisco may be a beacon of tolerance now, the Chinese community here was ostracised and prejudiced against for most of its history. Lois' ability to conjure the squalor of what once took place in narrow alleys, and the cramped conditions of tenement apartment blocks even today, was a sobering counterpoint to the culinary merriment.

We sampled dim sum at two places, the second at Eastern Bakery where Lois' father once worked. Their pork buns were astonishing, but they're best known for a vast range of traditional moon cakes. I wasn't so keen on these, but another treat ... sweet bean paste in a donut-like sphere of dough rolled in sesame seeds ... was a fine correction of my impression that the Chinese don't really do desserts.

Going with a local meant not only the best bites, but explanations of what we were eating and how to eat it. I now know to flip my chopsticks to the end that doesn't touch my mouth to serve myself, and to tap my fingers twice on the table to thank whoever has poured my tea. I know the concept of how to shift, scoop, bite, slurp and swallow a soup dumpling, though doing it with grace ... and without getting soup down my shirt ... will take practice.

We learned all about tea at Vital Tea Leaf on Grant Street, a remarkably peaceful oasis where an expert with a rich line in comedy brewed us five different cups and explained the merits of each. His celebration of top quality leaves, brewed briefly and served quickly, only in the quantities needed for immediate consumption, was a revelation. Chinese tea has all the variety, terroir and ceremony of wine ... and everything we sampled was vastly nicer than the stuff I usually reject in favour of coffee. We also visited a fortune cookie factory, where two women risk carpal tunnel syndrome as they peel pancakes of just-cooked dough off an assembly line of vertical skillets, wrap a fortune inside, then fold and bend over a metal bar. The cookies harden into their final shape in seconds.

Later that day we wandered around the Ferry Building, packed with gourmet food stands with a bustling farmer's market behind it. Fresh morels, artisan cheeses, sourdough baked goods in every variety imaginable and produce of such fragrant perfection it can bring a visitor to tears of envy. (I think I might actually be able to give up cakes and chocolate if I could lay my hands on white peaches of this quality all the time.)

We ended the afternoon taking a ferry to and from Sausalito. That maritime scene gets even more beautiful when you view it from its centre. Had I bought some fortune cookies to snack on during the journey, I'm positive they would have read: "this is going to be a wonderful vacation."