Add these extras to make a Big Cedar holiday even more memorable

My fondest memories of Big Cedar Lodge will be of doing nothing. Sitting in amicable silence on the porch with the people I love, rocking gently in the chairs and drinking in the fall colours. Or nodding off in communal peace in front of the fire, the scent of woodsmoke perfuming our cabin. But if that’s all you’re doing at Big Cedar you’re probably not getting your full value for money.

Part of that premium room rate is the exceptional range of activities and restaurants you can enjoy across the resort. Kayaks, canoes paddle boats, pools, beaches, putt putt and the fitness centre are all included. And, frankly, the whole place is so beautifully decorated and landscaped that simply walking around, pausing in picturesque spots and drinking it all in is an activity in itself. Our favourite outings added to the holiday’s bottom line … but I’d recommend all of these. In for the penny, in for the proverbial pound.

Lost Canyon Golf Cart Trail

If you do only one paid activity at Big Cedar, make it this. If you are anywhere in the area, make a detour to come here. This is a spectacular nature experience on par with any of America’s National Parks. OK, perhaps not the Grand Canyon. Put it’s pretty damned impressive.

Southern Missouri is rich in trees, limestone caves and springs, and this trail shows them all off to a ludicrously photogenic extreme. An early highlight is driving through a cave with a gushing waterfall in the back and many illuminated rock features. Suitably for this novel mode of rural transportation, there’s a drive-through bar on entry … the suitably named Bat Bar … so you can pick up canned beer or cocktails for your journey. The route continues over covered wooden bridges that cross gorges, along the side of ravines and through deep woodland. Waterfalls are spectacular and abundant, carving terraces and towers out of the limestone substrata while polishing the stone to a Carrara marble-like whiteness. Views stretch over vast miles where you see nothing but forest, even more beautiful when gilt by autumn colour. There’s even a viewpoint you can stop at and walk out onto an observation deck high above the valley floor. And though you only left the cave 20 minutes ago, there’s a mobile version of the Bat Bar here to top up your in-drive supplies.

The route is only 2.5 miles and in most countries would have been left to hikers. But this is the land of the automobile. And while the route shows off the best of nature, I suspect it’s not natural. Waterfalls have been helped along and the path determined for maximum impact. Keeping people to golf carts … even if you can pop out of them to explore, keeps people on track and limits the health and safety risks abundant in all those rocky inclines. It also makes the whole thing feel a lot more like a Disney attraction, which is helpful when justifying the approximately $40 per person to ride. That’s not per cart, but per rider. Yes, 4-person golf cart, $160. These people understand how to make money.

They also understand how to deliver value. There’s no time limit on cart rental. You could spin through the course in 30 minutes, or stop at every possible lay-by, do a bit of hiking and be out there for hours. (If I ever did it again I’d bring a picnic and art supplies.) The legal drinking and driving is inspired, giving a frisson of excitement without ever putting anyone in serious danger. Most impressive, from someone who’s starting to get old and creaky, is the accessibility. Nature’s greatest wonders are usually accessible only to those who are fit enough to hike to them. Or there are those few beside the road, so crammed with tourists you don’t feel you’re in nature at all. This is a brilliant compromise, crafted to feel like you’re in the deep wilderness but available to anyone who can climb into a golf cart.

Sunset at the Top of the Rock

The golf cart trail takes off from one end of the ridge called “Top of the Rock”. This is Johnny Morris’ culture and entertainment complex, part of Big Cedar Lodge but also open to the general public. Anyone can enter, but cars pay a $10 fee to do so, redeemable on food and drink bills. Residents skip this by taking resort transport. The main building here has several bars and restaurants plus a highly-acclaimed museum of local culture.Exhibitions include geology, fossils, modern wildlife and conservation and an excellent American Indian collection, all of which we sadly didn’t have time to consume this visit. We did manage to make it to one of the sprawling array of patios for the nightly sunset ceremony. 

The view is spectacular and everything is built to make nature a stage with the setting sun at its centre. Copious fire pits keep people warm on cool nights. Outdoor sofas and benches allow lounging. One large area is reserved for diners at the Buffalo Bar. The resort has created a nightly ceremony featuring a Scots piper laying on a few tunes before a Civil War cannon fires a salute as the sun breeches the horizon. It’s a lovely bit of communal merriment.

The night we attended, however, it was also terribly staffed. Staffing was obviously a problem throughout our visit to the States but this was the night it was at its worst, with only two bartenders and one server looking after several hundred people. Over the course of 90 minutes we waited more than half an hour for each round of beer and wine. Service was further slowed because Americans order so many cocktails and every credit card order goes back to the customer for a tip. If there is any point at which a British visitor will feel superior, it’s here. American bartenders also seem to lack the British publican’s uncanny knack of knowing who’s next, instead allowing customers to sort themselves out. Rather than thinking fondly of your local publican and getting angry as you wait with people who don’t understand queueing, I recommend turning up for the ceremony with some cold canned beverages in your bag. If you do the golf cart tour just before, you can bring drinks from the Bat Bar.

Shooting School

It should be no surprise that a place dedicated to hunting, fishing and shooting should have rather spectacular facilities for the last. The resort’s gun club, officially the Bass Pro Shop’s Shooting Academy, looks like something drawn from Teddy Roosevelt’s fever dreams. From the shotguns that form the door handles at the main entry to the massive log walls and stone chimneys, antler chandeliers, bronzes of wild animals and exquisitely taxidermised specimens of everything in those woods that might be pursued and eaten, this place is a palace of hunting and conservation. (Those who do the first, of course, understand that the two go hand in hand, or the first would soon be impossible.) The building is clearly designed with group outings and special events in mind (max capacity 600); there are loads of rooms that can be arranged for different purposes, all with magnificent views.Like the Top of the Rock, which is about a 15 minute drive away, this complex is built on another ridge with another magnificent view.

Much like our local Spitfire Shoot, people without their own guns can buy into a package that includes guns, ammunition, safety briefing, instruction and time in the field shooting at clays. (Yes, European readers, contrary to your expectations Americans do not just let people pick up guns and have at it. The safety briefing and instruction is essential.) The shooting stands are built into the hillside below on terraces, with woodland as far as you can see spreading below. Rather amusingly, where any British shoot would have you walking the perhaps 200 metres, including some stairs, that’s a straight shot from building to the stands, Big Cedar loads everyone in golf carts and has you drive the long way round. 

Our 1-hour package was $70. My only regret was that it was too short. Another half hour would have been perfect. Especially since our coach, Kennedy, wielded some sort of special magic. I have never shot better. 

Dining

Unsurprisingly, Big Cedar majors on American classics. Burgers, steaks, ribs and other tasty slabs of grilled meat. I’m sure they’d find you something if you were vegetarian, but this is carnivorous country. I confess to disappointment that there wasn’t more game on the menu. Given the location and the ethos of the place, we figured every menu would feature venison, game birds and maybe rabbit. But our American friends told us that game is rarely eaten here outside the hunting community. And while there are plenty of hunters staying here, there are many more who are just enjoying the hunting lodge ambiance. Having critters on the menu just wouldn’t be viable.

While the restaurants vie to differentiate themselves, the outdoor theme and the core idea of American classics stretches across them all. I wouldn’t waste my money returning to the Lodge’s fine dining option, the Osage Restaurant, where the bison fillets were overdone, the every-element-is-a-la-cart philosophy drove up the bill and the vegetables had more char than flavour. (Our friends, it must be noted, said their steaks were fantastic.) This is the most spectacular of all the restaurants’ settings, however. If I had it to do over again, I’d book a table 40 minutes before sunset, enjoy the ceremony from there and order the cheapest stuff on the menu.

The Devil’s Pool Restaurant and the Buzzard Bar are in the same building, the former over the latter. Both overlook one of the resort’s prettiest swimming pools and are right next to a wildly picturesque waterfall and ravine crossed by a covered bridge. We ate in both and enjoyed both these meals more than the Osage, with particular praise going to the ribs. I had them in the Buzzard Bar but can’t really remember much difference between the two menus. The bar’s biggest differentiator is artist in residence Clay Self, who’s half singing cowboy and half stand up comedian. Self was a bit too local for my English husband who, between the performer’s accent, the cultural references he didn’t get and background noise wrecking havoc with his tinnitus, could comprehend little of what was going on.

While the rest of us enjoyed Self enormously, Mr. B was particularly happy to get back to the companionable silence of our cabin. We soon warmed that by a fire, blazing to almost instant life thanks to the well-seasoned firewood and kindling that comes with every cabin. Enjoy those Big Cedar activities, but leave plenty of quiet time to simply enjoy the place with the people you love.

Big Cedar Lodge puts Missouri on a global map for luxury retreats

Thirteen years ago I fell in love with Wilderness Lodge at Disney World Orlando, captivated by the perfect fantasy of a simpler America. Here, hospitable folks in checked shirts went huntin', fishin' and shootin' before kickin’ back in log cabins heated by stone fireplaces, surrounded by broad porches where you could sit in rocking chairs and watch the sun go down on landscape unencumbered by humanity. A lot has changed since then. The kid I was dancing with at the Disney hoedown is about to graduate from university, I’ve added 739 fresh stories to this blog, and a little-known spot in the Ozarks has become America’s No. 1 wilderness resort. There's no need to pay Orlando imagineers to craft a fantasy. The real thing exists in my home state.

Big Cedar Lodge sprawls over 4,600 acres on Table Rock Lake, deep in the Missouri Ozarks almost at the Arkansas border. It boasts three lodges built on the picturesque model of the famous National Park hotels of the 1930s, 81 individual cabins, glamping tents and a handful of quirky accommodation for large groups. There are five golf courses and one mini putting option, two marinas, two different wedding chapels, at least four pools (one indoor), a spa, a shooting school, two different entertainment complexes, a museum of local ecology and native American history and 15 different dining options. All this is connected by ubiquitous WiFi and a fleet of transport vans ready to take you anywhere, summoned by a proprietary Uber-style app.

In my youth, the Ozarks meant The Lake of the same name and resorts like the Lodge of the Four Seasons, which I've mentioned in past coverage. I thought about heading back there, but the chorus from St. Louis friends was deafening: Big Cedar was far better. It was also two hours further away, but the corresponding distance in quality, my friends insisted, was vast. So, frankly, was the cost. Accommodation for two people averages between $600 and $800 per day, depending on type. (We split a cabin with friends, so it was a little less.) I'll admit that my perceptions since moving away had not kept up with developments in my home state; I hadn’t thought anything in Missouri could cost that much! The abysmal value of British Sterling didn't help. I kept thinking that for the same price I could be on safari at South Africa's extraordinary Chitwa Chitwa, playing the Japanese aristocrat at Kyoto's Yoshida Sanso, or snorkelling an Indian Ocean reef from my over-water villa at Constance Moofushi. Could a cabin in the Missouri woods possibly deliver a comparable experience to those luxurious blockbusters?

Yes. In its own American country style, Big Cedar has the stunning natural environment, magazine-worthy internal decor, creature comforts, thoughtful extras and magnificent service of all those other places. 

The Ozarks are an ancient mountain range, worn by time down to rolling hilltops covered with trees. Copious springs bubble through limestone and hydro-electric projects of the last century have created lakes that spread into long, winding valleys. A seemingly endless canopy of deciduous trees is always beautiful, but being here in October when the hillsides blaze with colour and the waters reflect them back to the skies is perfect. Deer wander across the road and graze on lawns. Canada geese forage for breakfast outside the window in the morning. A chipmunk scurried across the green and took the shortcut hole en route to his den while we were playing putt putt.

Every building on site has been designed with the same care those Disney imagineers give to creating their environments. You’re surrounded by natural materials, earthy colours, rustic but elegant accessories, Western and American Indian patterns.  Construction must have kept every taxidermist in middle America busy for years, because  animals are everywhere. Our cabin alone featured an antlered deer head, six ducks and a school of prize fish, all preserved at the height of their beauty. Blacksmiths also shine here, with wrought iron gates, fences and light fixtures throughout that incorporate flora and fauna. Comfort reigns supreme, from wide rocking chairs to deep beds to plush loungers by the pools. The staffers who make this work always have a smile on their faces and are quick to engage in conversation.   

To really understand this place, though, you have to understand Johnny Morris and his Bass Pro Shops. Local legend tells how Johnny’s dad fretted about him getting a real job back in the late ‘60s. But Johnny didn’t fancy traditional ideas of work. He liked being outdoors, fishing, drinking, and enjoying the world. So Johnny started selling fishing bait out of the back of his father’s liquor stores in nearby Springfield, Missouri. And other things. Lots of them. And then got his own shop. And then lots of them. There’s no better example of someone who’s successful because he did what he loves. Johnny’s now the richest man in Missouri. His bait business became Bass Pro Shops, now with 177 locations, more than 40,000 employees and a reputation as a destination in themselves for their amazing interiors. And the Lodge is his vision made manifest for others to enjoy; he’s personally involved, staff talk to him regularly and we spotted him one night in one of the bars, charisma radiating off him like heat off a bonfire. 

The Bass Pro website embraces his reputation as the Walt Disney of the natural world, and the association won’t be lost on anyone who enters a store through a three-story log-built atrium lit by glass and iron pendant lights that would meet Frank Lloyd Wright’s approval. An enormous fireplace welcomes you with the distinctive scents of burning wood and offers a place to sit on rocking chairs before it, while the chimney breast rising above you turns into a rocky, outdoor tableau. Full-sized taxidermised deer clamber up the slopes. A canoe on another wall overflows with equipment. Falling water forms a soundtrack. It’s not here, but at the other end of the store, where another wildlife tableau features more deer and wildcats as water cascades down a rock face into an enormous aquarium full of enormous bass and trout. A whole flock of ducks flies between that scene and the entry tower. Over by the gun section, it’s Canada geese on the wing. A mother bear and her cub keep people in line at the check out desk.  A wild turkey in radiant plumage taunts bow hunters shopping for their kit. The Las Vegas branch even has an aquarium with mermaids because, well, it’s Vegas…

Bass Pro isn’t a nature show but a retail emporium, of course, and ultimately people are here to buy their outdoor gear. Lots of it. There are vast clothing departments strong on comfort, quality and “American made” labels. The variety of rods, reels, guns, bows and nets for the pursuit of your own dinner is staggering. The variety of ammunition somewhat concerning. (Certainly nobody needs exploding bullets to bag their Thanksgiving Turkey?) Even if you consider camping to be a hotel that doesn’t provide toiletries, you’ll be intrigued by the ingenuity of the kit for outdoor living. 

There isn’t a better place to shop for patriotic American stuff, whether for everyday wear or your 4th of July table. I’m delighted with my new tee shirt depicting three Labrador retrievers at attention before the waving Stars and Stripes, looking like they’re about to bark out the pledge of allegiance while the words “Proud American” top and tail the scene. I was tempted by the edgy comedy value (in the UK) of a politically incorrect doormat, but space limitations stopped me.

By this point something is disturbing my British readers. Aren’t these Trump people? The ones who ban abortion, reject gun control and actually embrace religion, that out-dated opiate of the people? 

Quite probably. And that doesn’t make them the ignorant barbarians implied by British news coverage.

This is a culture blog, not a political one, and I’m not going to comment on the validity of anyone’s beliefs. But I can tell you that each one of those attributes has far more complexity than is reported in the British press, and that there are arguments for another side that can be introduced into thoughtful debate. (Not that much of that happens any more.)  There are well educated, affluent, caring and thoughtful people in each of those categories. And plenty of them have seen the wider world. Ironically, we probably met more people who’d been to England on this vacation in rural Missouri than on other American holidays, since levels of military service are much higher in the countryside. Many people we spoke to had been posted to bases near us, and took the opportunity to explore when they were overseas. 

As I have argued from the day I first moved to the UK, you simply cannot understand America without spending time between the Appalachians and the Rockies. (The aberration that is Las Vegas doesn’t count, even if it does have a Bass Pro Shop.) This is a different America to the one exported in mass media or portrayed by foreign reporters. It’s the America most Europeans just fly over. The bit they dismiss. But it’s just as valid as the more familiar culture of the coasts and I’ll bet you a Bass Pro Shop baseball cap that if you’re in proper trouble, these people are going to take you in and look after you a lot faster than most of their coastal brethren. 

Of course, there’s another truth to be confronted when you consider the world Johnny Morris has built. While Big Cedar Lodge might be full of good folk from flyover country, at an average cost per day that can easily hit $600 per person once you add in food and drink, the clientele are self-selecting. When the boys ran out of beer and left the resort to re-stock at Wild Bill’s, they found a lot less charm, a lot more grunge and people who appeared to be living much harder lives. I suspect Bill’s patrons would still help you out in a crisis, but they’d seem a lot more alien than the guys who’d just come off the golf course to quaff premium bourbon at the Buffalo Bar’s sunset ceremony. Even if those golfers did vote for Trump.

In this way, Big Cedar may be as much of a fantasy as Disney’s Wilderness Lodge. And that’s a big part of how it earns its luxury price tag. In my next article on the resort I’ll talk about activities and dining.